lottery of love

Oh the much anticipated passionate holiday is almost here. I have always been the optimist about Valentine's day. Even if I do not have a boy to shower me with chocolate and candle lit dinners, I simply enjoy the holiday. But this year I have a dilemma I happen to be quite afraid of commitment. I don't know if I'm afraid to get hurt, or if I truly do not want a relationship, but this year, I continue to push away prospective boyfriends. However, since the beginning of the year I have had a small "thing" with (we're gonna call me C) C. Sometimes we have weeks where he waits at my locker and we talk on the phone, and other times we don't speak at all. As shallow as this may come across, I refused to look at him as more than a fling, or a possible (ah-dorable) hookup. I now think i have been repressing feelings for him. Anyway, he basically texted me and said all these amazing things. The things he said we more than even boyfriend had said to me. Then he saw some of my close friends at a bakery and poured out his heart. This whole time I thought he had just seen me as eye candy, or a fling. But he really listened when I talked and knew me. But I guess he is frustrated because I don't look at our relationship that way. But honestly it never dawned on me. But the more i think about the more, I feel I am falling for him I doubt I will get anything from him tomorrow, and I'm not really sure how i feel about that. I mean I didn't tell him I liked him, so he has no reason to. But yet, I know I will feel a bit sad. AH....high school drama MUCH LOVE HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

true love

Have you ever thought about the ONE? Well, I do and I have finally found it. I have discovered true love at the ripe age of 17! I am deeply enamored with Juicy Couture. But this is not a surface, superficial love. P&G runs through my veins, it is apart of who I am! As of this week I finally saved up $350 for their plaid sherpa jacket. Sure, the description may scream lumber jack, but no no! This jacket is my obsession. And even the guys have commented about it. Everything about it makes me glow with adoration! Ah...IM IN LOVE! Sadly though, I do not think I can wear it at school anymore. I was 2 inches away today from getting strawberry milk spilled all over it. (PS- its dry clean only and the inside is snow white sherpa) True, being that this is young love, I may have some pretty intense separation anxiety, I think I can pull through. Because as soon as I get home until the time I go to bed, Im gonna be sporting that jacket. God...it was like I was put on this earth to find this jacket! THANK YOU P&G! I am forever indebted to you for introducing us! Well that pretty much raps up my love story....I apologize if its a little sappy, but what can I say...I <3> MUCH LOVE PEACE

that moment of bliss

Do you ever hit that time in your life where everything just seems to fit so perfectly? I am in a daze of total contentment and pure excitment for the future! I am usually one who prides themselves on living in the moment and not fantasizing about what is to come or what is in the past, but I cannot even help it! Here is a list of things I think have put my in this fabulous bubble

• I am going to NYC for an elite fashion program for FOUR WEEKS!
• My best friend who lives in LA (miles away from me) is going to be going to be at FIT the EXACT same time as me! (and I get to stay with her at her rented upper west side apartment on the weekends!!!)
• I just purchased a Juicy Couture Plaid Sherpa Jacket (something I've been saving up for, for forever
• Winter Formal was last weekend and I was voted BEST DRESSED!!!!
• I am going to Boston in 2 weeks!!!!!!!
• I went to a small high school 9th and 10th grade and LOVE the bigger school! SO much more social activity! ABSOLUTELY loving it
• Dance team is ending, which although I'm very sad, Lacrosse is starting now and its only 3 days a week, while dance was 5!
• My room is clean and I have been able to live stress-free days
• Life in general is just at its high...point blank

These little things may seem trivial and unimportant, but to me they create the relm of total perfection. But I better end this before I jinx myself! lol

MUCH LOVE

PEACE